How Parents Can Help Their Children with Mental Disorders

       Mental illness is a plague sweeping through younger generations and increasing at an alarming rate; however, parents can play an influential role in helping their children treat these mental disorders before they become too severe. According to the Child Mind Institute, “49.5% of American youth will have had a diagnosable mental illness at some point before they are 18, based on diagnostic interviews done by professionals with a sample of young people ages 13-18.”. Also, the Center for Disease Control has found “For children aged 3-17 years with anxiety, more than 1 in 3 also have behavior problems (37.9%) and about 1 in 3 also have depression (32.3%)” (“Anxiety and Depression in Children”)
       Mental disorders can range from being temporarily stressful to being life-altering disabilities. “Mental disorders (or mental illnesses) are conditions that affect your thinking, feeling, mood, and behavior” (“Mental Disorders”). Mental disorders, also referred to as mental illnesses in some cases, make life more challenging by increasing stress levels, controlling moods, causing psychosis, and more. There are many ways that mental disorders can make life harder; however, there are now many ways that those suffering from mental disorders can receive help. (Child Mind Institutes)
        People often misunderstand anxiety disorders to mean when one feels stress or panic. Anxiety disorders are generally characterized as abnormal amounts of stress or worry that almost control daily life. There are different types of anxiety, including generalized anxiety, panic disorders, social anxiety, specific phobias, agoraphobia, even selective mutism. “When a child does not outgrow the fears and worries that are typical in young children, or when there are so many fears and worries that they interfere with school, home, or play activities, the child may be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder” (“Anxiety and Depression in Children”). There is more than one form of anxiety. 
General anxiety, the most common, is characterized by higher than normal levels of worry that begin to affect daily life. Panic disorders are often characterized by sudden and intense amounts of anxiety that can cause panic attacks or anxiety attacks. Social anxiety causes high levels of stress in social situations such as meeting people or social gatherings. Agoraphobia is often confused with social anxiety since children feel anxious in situations that make them feel trapped. These children often feel that situations like parties are incredibly anxiety-inducing. Specific phobias are common in children and adults when anxiety is brought on by super-specific triggers, such as arachnophobia being brought on by seeing spiders. Selective mutism can be hard to diagnose because most parents assume that their children are shy. However, those cases that do get diagnosed are when children are silent in social situations but are outgoing and social at home or around people they feel comfortable and safe around. Some kids suffer from separation anxiety when they feel overwhelming amounts of anxiety and stress whenever they are apart from particular people or pets. (“Anxiety and Depression in Children”)
       Parents can struggle to help their children with anxiety when they have not dealt with it themselves. Some parents who have suffered from anxiety tend to assume they know exactly how to fix their children. Parents’ biggest thing to remember when helping their kids with anxiety is not working on trying to “fix” their child. “None of us wants to see a child unhappy, but the best way to help kids overcome anxiety isn’t to try to remove stressors that trigger it. It’s to help them learn to tolerate their anxiety and function, as well as they can, even when they’re anxious. And as a byproduct of that, the anxiety will decrease or fall away over time” (Goldstern). The best way to help kids is by talking it out with them and finding ways to cope with their challenges. “Sometimes it helps to talk through what would happen if a child’s fear came true—how would she handle it? A child who’s anxious about separating from her parents might worry about what would happen if they didn’t come to pick her up. So we talk about that” (Goldstern).  Working with their kids helps the parents better understand their issues. The parents can begin to understand the gravity of what their child is going through and act accordingly. If their child is genuinely suffering from what looks like an anxiety disorder, the best thing for them to do is take the child to a therapist or a doctor who can help them.
       OCD, also known as obsessive-compulsive disorder, is characterized by obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are thoughts, images, or impulses that constantly play through the child’s mind and disturb daily life. Compulsions are what many people think of when they know the basics of OCD. These are when people who suffer from this disorder feel the need to repeat actions or behaviors because they believe it will stop bad events or thoughts. They may pull on their fingers or fidget with pieces of their clothing because it makes them feel safe. More severe compulsions can be like when a person needs to flip a light switch five times every time they turn them on or off because it calms them. Often people misunderstand OCD as people who feel the need to keep everything clean, and while that may be a symptom for a few children who suffer from actual OCD, it is not what most think. Performing these actions and repeating them makes kids think that they will not have as many stresses or prevent bad things. “OCD can get in the way of your day to day life. It can affect your relationship with others, work or school effort, and general wellness” (“Treatments for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)”). OCD is usually caused by other mental disorders such as anxiety or ADHD; however, there are other causes such as Tourette’s syndrome, substance abuse, eating disorders, or personality disorders. There are multiple ways to combat this mental disorder, such as getting the child into behavioral therapy or getting a prescription for medication that can help minimize the symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorders.
       Parents often do not know how to help their kids with OCD when it appears, while others struggle to understand what is happening in their own child’s head. Most parents work to help the child by taking away whatever causes the symptoms; however, this may feed into the disorder and worsens it. “Since anxiety is maintained through avoidance, family members who accommodate their child are causing the symptoms to become even more fixed” (Spiro). The first thing that a parent should do is find help for their child. After that, the therapist will work with the kid and the family to find easy ways to tackle triggering situations. For example, a child who is anxious about being perfect may work in therapy by drawing things. When they make a mistake, they practice leaving the mistake and moving on without using their compulsions and obsessions to calm their OCD. It is essential for them then to practice these strategies at home with their parents. These children may seek constant reassurance, which can frustrate parents; however, if the parent continues to support their kid and make sure they continue to fight the disorder, the chances of the symptoms decreasing go up. (Bubrick)
       Depression is a severe mental disorder that affects a great deal of the youth population today. It is typically characterized as extreme sad emotions. There are two different forms of depression: major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder or dysthymic disorder. “In major depressive disorder, the cluster of symptoms that define depression occurs in what may be severe episodes that tend to last from seven to nine months.” However, with persistent depressive disorder, the symptoms are not as severe as those who suffer from major depressive disorder but last for much longer. So while the experience of dysthymia may be less debilitating for the child at any given moment, the risk is that there is more accrued damage, more time in which the child is kept out of the healthy development process” (Steingard). These two types control children and teenagers’ daily lives, and most parents overlook it before truly understanding what is going on in their child’s head, which can have catastrophic effects.
With major depressive disorder, the most common cause is trauma; whether it be a huge event or a slight change in the child’s life, it is essential to understand that each person experiences things differently. So, after any traumatic event, making sure that children are dealing with their emotions is imperative. What separates this form of depression from others is that those who suffer from it only suffer for seven to nine months, while persistent depressive disorder may go on for years. For kids suffering from major depressive disorder, they may feel more sad than usual, distance themselves from things that make them happy, sleep more due to how tiring it is to deal with their depression, talk about themselves in an overly harsh way, or ever have thoughts or attempts at self-harm or suicide. Some doctors may highly recommend medication or therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapies (“Quick Facts on Major Depressive Disorder”).
       Alternatively, there is a persistent depressive disorder which is most commonly passed on through immediate family members. Traumatic events or other environmental factors can also cause PDD. These children can be hard to diagnose because they stay in this state for so long, and their symptoms can vary where they may have better days and then have days where their symptoms control them so much they cannot find any reason to get out of bed. These kids also may be misdiagnosed with a different form of depression or other mental disorder, making it hard to find ways to help them from both a doctor’s standpoint and a parent’s.
        Parents never want to see their child suffering from depression because they always want the best for their kids. One of the easiest ways for parents to make a difference in their child’s depression is to be supportive. “Try to build empathy and understanding by putting yourself in their shoes. You might be frustrated that they seem down and irritable a lot of the time and don’t seem to be doing much of anything to help themselves. But if there isn’t much in their life that is making them happy, or something intensely disappointing has happened to them, it’s understandable that they might avoid things they used to enjoy and retreat to their room” (Dowd). Having supportive conversations with children who seem to be showing signs of depression allows them to rely on their parents. The important thing is to avoid involving the emotions of the parent because the child is already suffering. If the parent said, “Seeing you so sad makes me feel sad,” then the child has to carry their suffering as well as their parent’s sadness. If the parent talks about the positives in their child’s life, it is much easier for them to find happiness. One of the best things a parent can do for their child’s depression is getting it treated by a professional however the most challenging thing is that the child has to want the help. If they go to therapy and ignore everything the therapist says or never put the work in, their depression will never get better.  (Dowd)
     In children who have schizophrenia, the symptoms can show up much earlier than most think. Schizophrenia can be hard to see, especially since those who begin to show signs in childhood do so in the teenage years, where moodiness, withdrawal from social activities, and other mental disorders become even more common. However, some begin to show signs even during the first few years of their life. According to the Mayo Clinic, these children are usually late to begin walking and crawling and often flap their arms in strange ways. These signs can easily be confused for signs of other disorders, including autism, so it is vital that if parents see these signs, they schedule an appointment with their pediatrician. (Childhood Schizophrenia)
      Schizophrenia changes the way that these children see the world and take in the information around them. The most common signs that bring attention to the problem at hand are when those who have psychosis begin to talk about how the FBI is watching them or voices in their head telling them to do things they know they should not. “Young people who’ve experienced psychosis do better when families support their keeping appointments, taking their medications and eating, sleeping and taking care of themselves. These are important skills, since stress can trigger a relapse. Parents also learn how to respond when a son or daughter talks about aliens and the FBI and skills for dealing with a crisis and with suicidality” (Miller). 
       Trauma is something that many people define incorrectly because of how easy it is to call something traumatic. Many things may seriously shake a person’s world, and they may have trouble sleeping for a while or be slightly nervous; however, they can begin to recover independently. Traumatic events are typically characterized by something shocking or horrible occurring in an individual’s life. However, the defining characteristic that makes an even truly traumatic is that the person who suffers from those events can not recover. The factors after the effect can also be vital as they can retraumatize the person or begin to ease the suffering. If a victim of a trauma is then surrounded by those who make jokes about their trauma, it can make the situation even worse. Even simply talking about a traumatic event before they are ready can send the body into a state of panic because the body believes they are going through that trauma again. Trauma is not a singular moment but rather a cumulative series of events that feel impossible to get over or forget (Berkowitz)
       Children who are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder handle it very differently on a case-to-case basis. Some may not even know that they are suffering, while for others, the disorder can cause other disorders to begin to take over the child’s daily life. The youngest kids may not even know how to describe their feelings when these traumatic events occur. Older children may not know how to ask for help because they think they will think they are overly dramatic. Parents need to understand that their child comes to them with a legitimate concern about a possible traumatic event to handle their child with care. If parents dismiss the concern or do not acknowledge it as accurate, it can worsen over time. Parents should seek help in a therapist for their child as many psychotherapeutic methods have been developed to help with trauma (Howard).
       Parents need to understand that it can be difficult for children to step forward and admit that they are suffering from what they think is a mental disorder. If a child has a serious concern, it should be the parents’ priority to address any mental illness just as they would a physical ailment and seek the proper help. If a child may show signs of a mental disorder but not say anything to their parents, it may be beneficial to sit them down and talk about their experiences. It can be challenging for a parent to watch their kid suffer and not do anything about it. However, the extra challenge with a mental disorder is that if the one suffering from the disorder does not want to help themselves, no therapies will change their situation. Parents need to be supportive and help their kids throughout their struggles with mental disorders.