What are the Four Main Parenting Styles?

      You've been a child. Each and every one of us has been a child. Parents have made the subconscious decision the moment we enter their world about how they will take care of their child. Diana Baumrind, an incredibly influential child psychologist, established four main parenting styles in the 1960s. These styles are still just as accurate today as they were decades ago despite the societal differences. Each one of these styles is a mixture of different levels of support and control.  The classifications of parenting styles are known as authoritarian, permissive, authoritative, and neglectful. 

Imagine you're a parent, and you want nothing more than your child to be a success. Chances are you think about challenging your child, sending them to the best schools, making sure they have the best grades in the class,making sure they know what they are doing, but do you see yourself comforting that kid when they make a mistake? Probably not. You're imagining the control you will have to have over them to ensure they will succeed.  "'Control' can be defined as parental behaviors toward their children that guide or direct children's behavior toward acceptable and age-appropriate standards, without relying on strict or harsh punishment" as defined by Lisa Serbin and others in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology. 

       Authoritarian parenting is characterized by parents setting high standards for their children and strict rules but not giving support when their children need it. "Moreover, parents who place strict demands on their children are likely to set high behavioral conduct standards and may be more apt to monitor their children," wrote Gustavo Carlo. These parents derive their parenting from a need to control their children. These parents want their kids to succeed but can get carried away and put that success before other important parenting aspects.

       The second style of parenting is permissive. Permissive parenting is the direct opposite of Authoritarian parenting. These parents try to be their kid's friends by not setting many, if any, rules but are incredibly supportive of their kids. "It is possible that supportive parents create an emotionally secure environment in which children are encouraged to express their needs," said Lisa Serbin and her colleagues. There is minimal to no control between these parents and children, and they tend to have no boundaries with how they talk to or treat their parents but are often disrespectful to other adults because they don't respect their own parents. 

       Authoritative parenting, however, is a blend of control between parents and their children and having an almost equal amount of support. According to Gustavo, "A supportive and demanding parent is viewed as an important resource associated with positive developmental outcomes." Children can be supported while being challenged by these parents, which gives them the drive to succeed while their parents help them. Most parents dream of being this way but let their anger get the best of them or don't hold their children to the standard they believe in. This allows them to get away with actions they shouldn't, allowing for authoritative or permissive characteristics to ruin the dream (Talib).

      The final parenting style, neglectful, is characterized by a lack of control and a lack of support. These parents don't set any rules for their children but are also incredibly uninvolved. Maccoby and Martin describe how Neglectful parenting can affect these children when they said, "Conversely, an aloof or hostile parenting style reflects harsh and neglectful parent–child interactions, which might lead to antisocial and aggressive outcomes." These parents leave their children to fend for themselves, which puts distance between parent and child (Brandjerporn).

       The reality is that parenting is no easy task. There will be late nights filled with crying babies that seem to never end and early mornings of chasing crazy children around the kitchen. The good thing is there will be moments, the kind every parent hopes for, that will make them so proud of their child that every bad moment is worth it.  So what kind of parent will you be? You get to start thinking now. No book or website or even speech can tell you how to do it, so parent how you believe you should. Parent for the benefit of your child. Parent so that you never look back and regret it.